


Sex in the Suburbs

by Aleandri



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adoption, Alternate universe- humans, Anal Sex, Awkward Sex Parties, But Mostly an Unlikely Love Story, Castiel ALSO prefers a regular sex life, Dean prefers a regular sex life, F/F, F/M, Group Sex, Humor, M/M, Meet-Awkward, Multi, Orgy, Romance, Sex Parties, Swingers, like really awkward, perfectly well-adjusted children, what a coincidence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-03-27 05:31:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13874175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aleandri/pseuds/Aleandri
Summary: Lisa is a sex-aholic. Dean is her loving (and reluctant) husband with an average sex drive. Their newest neighbors, the brothers Gabriel and Castiel, host a neighborhood sex party. When Dean meets Castiel, he's grateful to finally find a relatively-normal person at this kind of event.Lisa's birthday is coming up fast, and she already knows what she wants from Dean. She just doesn't realize the impact her Birthday wish is going to have on Dean and Castiel.





	1. The New Neighbors

**Author's Note:**

> Note to the readers: This is NOT a Swingers 101 story or a very accurate description of the lifestyle. Just a representation of this one couple, in one specific neighborhood and their wild kinks as they relate to the story. All the usual sexual health and safety precautions are being taken, even if I miss the chance to point them out.
> 
> Note to the Swingers: I always appreciate helpful corrections or quick edu-points that help the story along. (Some of this story isn't going to be realistic outside of this fictitious AU.)

“We should’ve brought a bottle of wine.”

“Nah, they’ll have plenty to drink. And we’ve brought the potato salad- that’s all they care about. Dude called to confirm about it twice.”

“Yeah,” Lisa fidgeted nervously as they turned on the shadowed sidewalk and continued down, toward the brightly lit house sat practically by itself at the far end. “But, it’s a _courtesy_ kind of thing, babe. Guests are supposed to bring a small gift. We always had something for the Leeds and Harringtons….”

She drew to a slow stop, the sharp clack of her high heels dying out in the dark, echoing trees.

Dean sighed, shifting the huge bowl of cholesterol in his arms. “We are NOT walking all the way back to get wine that they didn’t even ask for, Lis.”

“No! You can wait here, and I’ll run really quick-“

“Lis- I am NOT standing here in the middle of the Paradise Avenue with a giant bowl of potato salad, waiting like a creeper, while you try to sprint home in three inch heels. My luck, you’ll sprain your ankle and end up Tina’ Bradley’s prize rosebushes. She’ll shoot you from her window, then I’ll be standing here for days with nothing to survive off of but over-peppered mayonnaise and spuds.”

Lisa turned to him, the yellow glow of several nearby streetlights barely softening the sharp look she gave him.

“One- my recipe is _perfection_.” She counted off on her fingers. “Two- can’t NO BITCH run in heels like this one.” She snapped her fingers and struck a pose, grinning vivaciously. "And three- if I jump the fence right over there, it’ll put me in Lou’s back yard, and I can just go through the gate into ours.” She flashed a bright, confident smile.

“And outrun _Mr. Burgers_.” Dean cocked an eyebrow, imagining the four pound chihuahua furiously chasing her.

“Like I said, aint NO BITCH faster.” Lisa reiterated, already grinning and turning to eye the tall wooden fence.

“Lis,” Dean groaned, casting his eyes desperately towards the huge house just a few minutes walk from them.

Damn. He just wanted to hurry up get the night over with. Based off the number of cars lining the driveway and street, the party was going to be packed with people, and NOT just ones from their own little neighborhood…. Shit.

Thinking quick, he changed his tone and casually commented, “It looks like a lot of people are already there…. Hope they don’t start the fun without us.”

Lisa’s head spun to squint down the street, breath catching. “They wouldn’t- you don’t think? It doesn’t start for another ten minutes. Shit, if we don’t make a good first impression with these new neighbors, they might not invite us again and I WILL DIE IF WE’RE THE ONLY ONES NOT ASKED BACK!”

Dean nodded in agreement, silently congratulating himself, as Lisa clutched his jacket and began nearly dragging him. As they drew closer, they spotted another couple walking down the sidewalk from Victorious Lane. As the people passed into the light of the a streetlamp, the plump shape of Donna Gregory and her husband, Amos, came into view.

Dean and Lisa waved down the street at the two familiar faces, who excitedly waved back.

Keeping his smile plastered across his face, Dean murmured to Lisa, “If he brought that _old-ass purple dildo_ again-“

“Dean- focus! Look what Donna’s carrying! Oh my God, even the Gregorys knew to bring wine!” Lisa’s smile was tight as she hissed through her teeth, “Alright- I’m going to excuse myself to the restroom as soon as we get inside, then I’ll climb out the window and run home-“

“Lis, nothing about that will work,” Dean felt a genuine laugh rumble out of him. “That house has three stories. We don’t know which floor the party is gonna be on. You might not be able to get back in. And you can’t just show back up at the front door. And even if you DID get back in, they’ll know we didn’t arrive with a bottle of wine- where would we have hidden it?”

“In the the potato salad,” Lisa argued weakly. Dean snorted. “Alright, then _up my pussy!_ ” She snapped, before erupting with laughter.

Dean lost it, too, and for several seconds they both had to stop walking to lean against each other as they shook with laughter.

“That-“ Dean choked, “That would probably go over REALLY well here!”

“My god, right!” Lisa barely managed, “Pr-pro-probably insist on everyone dr-drinking it first.”

Dean had to shift the giant bowl to the side, so he could hunch over and try and to breath. “We’d definitely get invited back-!”

Lisa erupted into manic laughter again, which quickly devolved into her usual (adorable) pig-like snorts.

The neighbors are probably watching out their windows now, Dean thought. And Donna and Amos were giving them looks, too.

With effort, they both managed to calm down and continue their steady pace towards the house. Just as they arrived at the start of the decorative stone walkway, they joined the Gregorys, who cheerfully greeted them.

“Well- you two seem to be having fun before the party has even started! Are you excited to meet the new neighbors?” Giggled Donna. Dean’s smile dipped a fraction, partially because it was weird the way Donna always giggled like a five year old, despite coming up fast on fifty. But, mostly it had to do with the fact that Donna and Amos (who were sincerely nice friends) were more Lisa’s friends than his.

It was something that he always felt a little guilty about, but truth be told, most of the people at these kind of events were Lisa’s people. And it was nothing against them, personally, but-

“We were talking about pussy wine,” Lisa suddenly erupted into laughter again, and Donna and Amos quickly joined. Amos even slapped his knee as he guffawed.

Dean visibly cringed, but the trio didn’t catch the look, lost in the hilarity of the topic.

“I think I’ve heard of that!” Donna shrieked, causing Dean to cast nervous glances down the quiet night road, praying the neighbors weren’t craning their ears to hear the joke. At least the houses on this wealthier street were separated by considerably more space and trees than their own just a street away. God, if she starts shouting the words ‘Pussy Wine’ at that volume….

“That’s where they put the wine up you cooch for a while, and-“ Donna started.

Dean- mortified by the volume and subject of the conversation- opted to abandon decorum (and their company) and rushed forward to ring the doorbell to the large house. The others caught up to him a few seconds later, none the wiser to his discomfort. Except for Lisa, who was giving him a tight look of admonishment.

Not a good start to the night. And he had PROMISED her as part of her birthday present that he wouldn’t spoil her fun tonight.

But, seriously, she HAD to mention the ‘pussy wine’? It couldn’t just be their own private, little dirty joke….?

As a truce, Dean shifted the heavy bowl to one arm so he could take her hand in his, squeezing apologetically as Donna reached out to ring the bell again. Technically _five agains_. Dean felt Lisa finally relax beside him and he breathed a grateful sigh.

Only about five hours to go. And the actual party hadn’t even _started_ yet… Dean held back a miserable sigh.

“Hey,” Amos elbowed him with a grin as they waited on the spacious front porch, “Look it what I brought.” The older man lifted the front of his blazer and Dean grimaced.

Sure enough, a ridiculously long and floppy purple dildo was tucked halfway in the front of his slacks. Amos rocked his hips a few times so that it swung suggestively, causing his wife to giggle at a pitch that threatened to shatter the decorative stained glass doors.

“It’s…” Dean struggled for a friendly tone, “not a party without ole Amos and his purple dildo, huh hon?”

He felt Lisa squeeze his hand, as she leaned forward to- Jesus Christ- PET the lolling purple dick. “Awww, it sure isn’t! I missed this cutie!”

Just as Donna was bursting into another high-toned giggle-fit, and Amos was scooching forward to thrust the the bouncing purple penis excitedly against Lisa’s welcoming hand-

-the doors suddenly flew open.

A short man with a booming voice took one look at the frozen group before shouting loud enough for the entire zip code to hear,

“WELCOME TO THE SEX PARTY! GET IN HERE, YOU HORNY SONS OF BITCHES! THE ORGY STARTS IN FIVE MINUTES!”

In the background, behind their excited host, there was a completely nude woman laying on the dining room table being eaten out by a completely nude man, who was also giving a hand job to another (partially clothed) man standing beside the table and delicately sipping a glass of wine- pinky fully extended. At the same time, a man on all fours and wearing a black leather saddle (AND BRIDLE) crawled by to pass into another room as a woman in a slinky, tasseled cowgirl bikini set riding him spanked him with a short whip and urged him to ‘giddy up’.

Dean’s eyes took in all of this, and the fact that the majority of the houses back windows were floor to ceiling with NO curtains or privacy films (he could tell, because an elderly man straddling a bright pink blow-up doll was very clearly jumping from a diving board and into the backyard pool).

The potato salad began a slow slide out of Dean’s numb hand and he had to flex his arm fast to keep ahold of it.

“ _Oh, geez_ …” He muttered weakly.

“HELL YES-!” Shouted Lisa from beside him, waving Amos’ stolen purple dildo in the air enthusiastically.


	2. Meet-Awkward

“And that’s how we met Judy, who was our Nurse at the ER when we went in to get it pulled out safely,” Miles Conner (39, cashier at the local Sporting Goods store) boomed with laughter while he massaged his wife, Amy Conner’s (38, hair stylist) upper leg as they all sat in the relatively quiet living room. “She mentioned that she had made the same mistake once, and we just KNEW!”

Judy, (new face, apparently an ER Nurse, age unknown) piped in from Amy’s other side where she was massaging the woman’s opposite thigh, “Of course, I’d had to drive the extra 37 miles to Mercy Hospital to get mine out!”

There was a round of loud laughter, and Dean grinned and nodded like an idiot, praying that the threesome would get bored with the conversation and _fuck the hell off._

Dean had plopped onto the couch of the living room almost immediately upon arrival because it was the least populated space he could find. Lisa hadn’t even waited to see him properly settled, before making a grand exit with the others.

For those first few, blissful minutes, it had been just him, and the silent man in the plush recliner, both reading subtitles as the TV couple remodeled a house on the screen, while the sounds of sex and chaos rang out all around them.

Shortly after arriving, he’d spotted the man absentmindedly poke at the potato salad with a toothpick from his leftover plate of cheese and olives. Dean wanted to warn him off, but watched with a wince, instead, as the man speared and ate a spud.

The glare the stranger had leveled at the food had been withering. To his credit, he hadn’t spat it back out.

Mostly from guilt, Dean considered leaving the room with the bowl of salad. Maybe finding a quiet bathroom where he could slowly feed the peppery concoction into a toilet (and ideally hide out there himself for the rest of the night).

But, he really did like this show….

Unfortunately, Lisa was popular amongst the many swingers and sexaholics, and that made DEAN popular by association, so the peace and isolation hadn’t lasted long.

“I bet you and Lisa have had your fair share of late night ER visits, huh?” Miles asked with a salacious grin, the two women tittering with him.

Dean lied smoothly, “And ‘middle-of-the-day’ visits.” He winked for effect. What did that even mean, Dean cringed at himself internally. _Geez, you could make anything sound raunchy with the right delivery…_

As expected, the group erupted into more laughs, with the exception of the stranger in the recliner, who sat listening to their exchange with the minimal amount of polite interest, but barely contributed anything beyond a silent nod. It was clear the man would prefer to stay fixated on the fixer upper show, but was too polite to ignore the conversation happening a few feet from him.

Dean was secretly hoping that the man’s less than enthusiastic demeanor would work as a deterrent to encourage Miles and company to leave soon. (The show was gearing up for the final reveal, and Dean was emotionally invested in whether the decision to split the Master bedroom to make it into an en suite was really going to be the functional space saver that was expected…)(But only one bathroom downstairs for a family of _five_ -?! Hell no. The risk HAD to be worth it…)

“Dean!” Al Jones (48, accountant and proud gimp to his wife, Edna, 45) was suddenly behind Dean and rubbing his shoulders excitedly. Dean KNEW where Al liked to put those hands, and made a subtle and desperate wide turning motion to face him and break the enthusiastic hold. “Shelly’s asking about you up on the third-floor balcony- the naked jello wrestling contest started a few minutes ago and she says she put forty bucks on you.”

The threesome on the couch across from him perked up with excitement and Dean forced a laugh, “Well, Shelly’s gonna lose that money-“ he patted his stomach as if it were unsettled, and stated remorsefully, “I ate some of Lisa’s potato salad and- _whew_ \- probably gonna be taking it easy tonight.”

“Aw, hell,” Al seemed genuinely crushed, “Worst possible night for it!”

“Yep,” Dean shook his had, mirroring Al’s disappointment, “Major bummer- but _hey_! Maybe Miles here would fill in for me? Whatdya say, man?”

In a stroke of rare fortune, this seemed to be exactly the right move to clear the group from the room. Miles and the two women quickly hopped up to follow Al to wherever the hell the balcony was.

Dean relaxed immediately as their voices faded away.

“There’s some stomach medicine in the kitchen.”

Dean glanced quickly over to the stranger, who he realized with a start was staring at him with an intensity that made Dean shift uncomfortably.

“Uh, cool. I’m-I’m good, for now, but maybe later…” Dean stuttered out, biting back his embarrassment.

The man nodded once, face serious, before turning his attention back to the TV.

Dean stared at the man’s profile for a few moments before his words suddenly clicked. “Oh, is- is this _YOUR_ house?” He tried to keep the surprise from his voice, but it still came out incredulous.

The man turned back to him, with his same eerie focus, and explained, “It belongs to my brother, Gabriel, and me. We invest in houses and flip them for a profit.”

A little thrown by the succinct response, Dean nodded, and said aloud, “Oh- so, the hyper dude in leopard print who, uh, answered the door…?”

“Is my brother.” He paused with a frown, then asked Dean, “The woman who came in with you and the potato salad, then stripped her clothes off and rode away on the other man’s back…?”

Dean winced at the clothes strewn on the floor beside the couch. With a tight smile, he answered, “My wife, Lisa.”

“She made… _that?_ ” The man gestured at the side-table, where the giant bowl of potato salad sat sweating.

“Yeah. Uh, sorry.” Dean apologized. “I’m actually the one who usually cooks, but she really wanted to, um… _try_. She was super-excited about tonight.” He finished lamely.

The man nodded again, eyes narrowing as he stared at Dean for an uncomfortably long time. It was eerie, as if the man had just asked a question and was waiting for an answer. _DID he ask a question?_ Dean felt himself floundering under the sharp eyes.

Finally, the man said, “My name is Castiel Novak.”

“Dean Winchester,” stated Dean, breathing a small sigh of relief as the man faced back to the television. For a moment, Dean had worried that the man was going to give the usual remark about how ‘lucky’ Dean was to have such a sexually adventurous wife that he could bring to these kinds of events.

Thank God, he didn’t. Dean wasn’t sure he could stand another reminder….

The next stretch of (relative) silence was interrupted only by several quick ‘hellos’ from cheerful people passing the entry to the room and recognized Dean. Thankfully they all seemed to preoccupied with their fun to make conversation.

Also in that span of time, something occurred to Dean.

At the risk of irritating the other man sharing the room, Dean asked during a commercial break, “Alright- I gotta know. Are you seriously planning to sell THIS house to some unsuspecting family? Cuz, _dude_ ….”

The man (who seemed to have an infinite level of patience) turned to blink at Dean. When he answered, there was the faint hint of a smile.

“We already have buyers. Do you know Rick and Ally Erickson? They’re here, somewhere.”

“ _Wha-?_ No way!” Dean was genuinely surprised, immediately recalling the couple. Specifically, he was recalling Ally’s VERY eventful 21st birthday party from years ago. Back when Dean could match Lisa’s enthusiasm at an orgy. “Christ, me and Lis went to high school with those two! I heard Ally’s new job was great, but- _geez!_ I’ve got to remember to congratulate them.” He glanced through the opening into the rest of the house, as if they might walk past at any moment (since damn near everybody seemed to be making a circuit past the room).

“They seem like a nice couple.” Castiel remarked with a soft smile.

“Yeah. Yeah, they really are. Good for them.” Dean chuckled, then got caught by another thought. “Do you…do you, like, specifically flip houses for the swinger community?”

Castiel gave a light shrug. “Since Gabriel is in the business, it just seems that most of our friends become clients.”

“The ‘business’?” Dean asked.

“Gabriel owns a series of clubs that cater specifically to swingers. He’s got twenty-four around the U.S., with plans for number twenty-five to be here.” Dean’s eyebrows shot up at the same moment his jaw dropped. Castiel continued conversationally, “Flipping houses is just our hobby.”

Dean felt a sweat break out on his neck and chest- a normal reaction when he’s confronted with someone who’s wealthy enough to buy houses as a ‘hobby’. He swallowed before asking, “And you’re also in the, um, _club business?_ ”

“No,” Castiel answered causally, “I’m a Children’s Psychiatrist.”

Dean had no words.

And as he floundered to think of something, Castiel’s mouth ticked up into another small smile.

“I get that reaction a lot.”

“I…I just,” Dean’s hands flapped briefly in front of himself before resting awkwardly on his thighs, “Your BROTHER owns frickin’ swingers clubs. He’s, like, a legitimate sexaholic…” He remembered the very brief exposure to the short man and was… dumbfounded. He only belatedly realized how rude he sounded.

But Castiel’s small smile had grown into a full-sized grin. “A well-adjusted and business savvy sexaholic.”

“Yeah- sorry.” Dean hurried to apologize. “I didn’t mean he wasn’t a great guy. I just- I didn’t expect-“ Dean felt himself drowning in embarrassment, and made the decision to swim for safer territory. “So, uh, you guys aren’t planning to stay here in Lawrence for too long, then?”

Castiel, who undoubtedly noticed Dean’s desperate subject-change, took mercy on him. “Gabriel keeps his home-base in Chicago, so once he sees construction get underway, he’ll likely head back there and only check-in occasionally.” Dean nodded, politely as something heavy landed hard enough above them to make the ceiling lights flicker. Castiel casually ignored it, continuing, “But, I’m staying here permanently. I’ve bought a fixer upper that I’m planning to make my permanent home.”

“Oh, hey! That’s great. Is it in this neighborhood, too?” This was one of the richest suburbs in Lawrence, but all the houses were pretty new. Not really fixer uppers types.

“No, it used to be an old Bed and Breakfast, in the hills to the North of town.”

“OH. MY. FUCK.” Dean gasped out, and Castiel looked genuinely shocked. “ _YOU_ BOUGHT THE _GIBSON HOUSE!?_ ”

“You’ve heard of it.” Castiel stated, blue eyes watching Dean’s reaction with a hint of smugness.

Dean wasn’t sure what to say first- he was barely able to stay seated. “Heard of it? _Holy shit, man!_ You hired half the town for the renovations. EVERYONE is talking about it. And my job’s pretty close. I work at Singer’s Garage.”

“I drive by that business to get up to the house.” Castiel was now fully turned towards Dean, and apparently more than happy to discuss the project.

Dean leaned forward, so they could speak more clearly over the sounds of the partiers. “My buddy, Benny, is restoring the floors. And, Charlie, she says he working on the electrical wiring to upgrade it all to a smart house. Hell, I see the trucks and trailers going to and from that place everyday. I can’t believe you’re the buyer!”

“It’s a big project.” Castiel nodded enthusiastically, “And my first purchase with historical value. I’ve had to rely on experts and the old photos of the place to plan out how to maintain the charm, but still have upgraded utilities and technology. I’d hate for it to look too modern, so it’s been a challenge.”

“Yeah, I bet. It was just sitting there for years since-“

“ _Here he is!_ ” Lisa’s voice shouted from the door, interrupting them.

Dean turned, fighting back a sudden tug of frustration, to see Lisa pulling FUCKING-DICK-ROMAN behind her, with several people trailing them.

One rule.

Not even a rule. One goddamn _FAVOR_ , that Dean had asked from Lisa tonight. And it was just to NOT fuck around with Dick Roman. The guy was an epic asshole.

And here they both were, gloriously naked and sweaty, and touching each other, and-

-Dean forced calm. _FORCED IT_.

Even when Dick flashed his perfect white teeth.

“Hey Babe,” Dean sent Lisa a tight smile while trying not to glare at Dick’s half-hard erection as it nudged the side of HIS WIFE’S thigh. Dean managed, “Having a good time?”

“Are you _kidding?_ ” Castiel’s brother, Gabriel, was suddenly dancing his (now fully-nude) body past the two to stand WAY too close to Dean. “She’s the life of the party, you lucky bastard!”

Lisa laughed happily, yanking Gabriel close to plant kisses all over his face.

Dean tried not to grimace. _My wife is the ‘life of a sex party’…always awesome to hear._

If they’d just leave, he could get back to talking with Castiel about the plans for the Gibson House. “Yeah, Lis is amazing.”

She turned back Dean, throwing up her hands with excitement. “ _Oh!_ So, I wanted to bring Dick over because,” she dropped her voice from shouting to just horribly loud, “I was telling him about how you haven’t been able to _get it up_ for the last few months-“

Dean felt a sudden and sickening ice run through his entire body.

“-and he actually knows a guy who does hypnotism for men with erectile disfunction and he-“

“We haven’t met yet,” and through the fog of horror Dean realized that Castiel was no longer in his comfy arm chair, but had crossed over to plant himself right in front of Lisa. “I’m Gabriel’s brother, Castiel.”

Lisa, ever the social butterfly, was able to quickly shift topics. “Oh! Oh- it’s so nice to meet you. This house is gorgeous. And Gabriel is just fantastic.” She turned beam and short man. “It’s so nice of you to keep Dean company in here. I was afraid he was going to sit by himself all night since he can’t-“

“Yes,” Castiel cut her off, “Dean and I were just discussing the Gibson House and my plans to renovate it. I was about to show him the antique furniture I’m reupholstering in the garage.” It was such a smooth lie that DEAN almost fell for it, and had to react fast when Castiel suddenly turned to him and said, “I think the leather chairs would be good for the library, but they’re already so worn out…”

“Yeah,” Dean wheezed hurriedly, face on fire as he struggled to stand, “Chairs.”

“Oh, um-“ Lisa seemed genuinely perplexed, arm still looped around Dick’s.

“I hope you continue enjoying the evening, Lisa.” Castiel, apparently realizing Dean was in a state of horrified shock, gently pushed him towards the archway out. “It was nice the meet you. Thank you for bringing the potato salad.”

“Oh,” Lisa perked up as they reached the exit, “Did you like it?”

“The potatoes are undercooked and there’s entirely too much pepper.” Castiel answered bluntly without bothering to look at her as they ducked around the corner and out of sight of the small group.

There was a knot in Dean’s stomach as he let Castiel lead him past droves of happy, laughing flocks of (naked) people. It wasn’t until they stepped through a door and began their descent into a cool, spacious basement that Dean finally began to recover from the nasty shock.

Lisa.

_Frickin’ Lisa._

How many times had he emphasized that he didn’t want anyone else to know about his… _problem._

He’d actually made her SWEAR not to tell any of her co-workers at the strip club.

Apparently she had taken the oath to heart, and just hadn’t thought that it still mattered OUTSIDE of work.

It was so… _so…_

_Damn it._

The real kicker- the thing that irked Dean more than anything else was that he COULDN’T be angry with her because Lisa really HAD told everyone out of the heartfelt desire to ‘ _help_ ’ him.

_Great intentions. Zero common sense._

A perfect summary of Lisa. She just didn’t understand normal personal boundaries….

“-always been a dream to have the classic brown leather chairs in huge library, but these aren’t as comfortable as I’d like. Plus, the kids will probably jump all over them, and they’re already so old…”

“… _kids?_ ” Dean managed to catch, despite his racing thoughts.

Castiel hummed, as he focused on moving the two chairs from under a large tarp. “Gabriel is one of six other siblings. They are not all doing as well as he and I are. I am in the process of applying for custody of several of my neices and nephews.”

Dean desperately tried to latch on to the topic, even as the other part of his brain was screaming _‘EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR IMPOTENT!’_ on repeat, at full deafening volume. It was creating the beginning of a nasty headache.

“That’s- that’s…good.” Dean tried, but it was no use. Lisa’s carelessness and Dick Roman’s shiteating grin were all he could think about. “I-I need to leave. _Now_.”

He didn’t even wait for Castiel to respond before turning to rush back up the stairs. Several people attempted to call to him as he crossed the house, but he ignored them. Through the hall, back past the already empty living room, and straight out the front door in a numb haze of horror.

It wasn’t until he was turning the corner of the block, out of sight of the bright lights and happy echoes of the house party, that Dean slowed his pace. His footsteps dragged on the sidewalk as his breath huffed faint steam in the chill of the night air.

“ _What a fucking disaster_ ,” Dean muttered to himself with a small groan.

This wasn’t how he was expecting the evening to go. Shit. This wasn’t how he had expected his LIFE to go. _Not even close…_

He knew he should find a way to apologize to Castiel. The dude had tried to help him out of the awkward situation. _Damn,_ he really shouldn’t have just bailed like that.

But, it wasn’t likely that he and Castiel were ever going to run into each other again. Not unless the ‘children’s psychiatrist’ needed a tow or brake light fixed. And he was probably more of the ‘dealership-only maintenance’ type.

So, that was that. Probably the only relatively normal person he had ever met at sex party, and he’d never meet up with him again.

Cuz sure as hell, Dean was DONE with sex parties. 


End file.
